Smurfberries and Shattered Dreams

This summer we will all be graced with yet another destruction from our childhood; a 3D animated version of The Smurfs. Set in NYC, our lovable childhood characters enjoy new adventures while acting and carrying on in what is decidedly an unsmurflike manner.
I will not be in attendance as I'm opposed to altering my childhood memories of my favorite drug induced characters. And let's admit that everyone. The Smurfs are a clear indication that a large amount of drugs were consumed between the 1950's and the 1980's. Let's examine the premise shall we?
A. Little Blue People
B. Little Blue People who wear socks on their heads
C. Little Blue People who live in mushrooms
D. Little Blue People who are constantly battling the evil Gargamel, who wants to eat them

They live in MUSHROOM HOUSES! I feel this fact alone proves my point.
You know, I actually know two people who did acid, convinced themselves they had turned blue, and checked themselves into a hospital.
As a kid, the Smurfs were awesome. They infected our lives with their weekend escapades and little action figurines. As a kid, I even DRANK Smurfberry juice (which I later discovered was only blue kool-aid. Frankly, I'm still disappointed).
Which brings me to my random fact for the day.
Smurfberries.
Ever wonder what a smurfberry is?
A smurfberry is a smilax berry. Simply put the Smurfs are eating sarsaparilla berries.
What?!
Ok, first, this is like finding out that the Ghostbusters were really just a bunch of kooks with a ouija board Or that Ren and Stimpy are really just two flea ridden mutts. Regardless, I'm offended that this sort of reality inducing fact is out there, readily available to the general public. AND THE CHILDREN!
I can hear the advertising for it!
"Step right up ladies and gentlemen, we're here to shatter your childhood beliefs. First off, Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairies are elaborate lies concocted by your parents for no clear reason. Life isn't fair. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And lastly, all the exceptional things you've learned to believe in, from trolls to smurfberries, are just fantastical names for otherwise unexceptional items. Grow up!"

How dare we, as responsible adults, make such information readily available to our children? There's not even a warning or an age conformation page. This information is out there people. Just waiting to shatter dreams. What are we going to do about it?