we sold out of Jack Daniels

it's been a shitty week. it's been a number 7 week.

as in Jack. Jack Daniels.

it's friday night and we've just bought coke.  we're looking for the Jack. 

because jack and coke is a special soul soothing drink. it really does have magical healing powers if consumed in exactly the right amounts. (drink it in the wrong amounts and you'll find yourself with only one shoe puking on a cactus in a strangers yard. you have been warned)

"we don't sell HARD LIQUOR here ma'am" says the clerk in an extremely snotty voice. for the record, she's standing in front of a wall of xmas wines. a literal wall. of wines. yet i'm out of line wondering where the liquor is.

Mark pulls me along before I can respond.

We drive to the liquor store- for the record, it's called BIG DADDY'S LIQUOR BEER WINE

it's at this point that Mark discovers he doesn't have his wallet. so he can't come in for fear of risking the, "i'm not selling this to the two of you if both of you don't have ID" line. 

yeah. it's happened to us. repeatedly. we're both over 30. 

anyway, we want our drinks. we want to relax and watch british crime dramas. we want to unwind. dammit- we're earned it!!

i enter. i run through the aisles- wines, wines, beer, fruity shit, gin.....i'm getting closer. i see the "whiskey" aisle. i slow to search for the familiar bottle and...... i turned the corner, and i'm at tequila. 

what? that can't be right. 

I circle back for a slower pass. Jameson, Bushmills, Glenfiddich, Highland Park, Chivas, Johnnie Walker, Jim Beam, Wild Turkey, Canadian Mist......and tequila. 

i'm perplexed. i circle again. and again. i'm getting frantic. this is the only liquor store around and  i simply can't find the Jack. i need the jack. i need to leave, Mark is waiting on me. we need to get home. it's been a long week. i stop between the Old Parr and the Bushmills. which is where i'm standing when a clerk approached me and asks, "can i help you?"

"where's the Jack?"I ask immediately.

"umm" at this point he STEPS BACK AWAY FROM ME. "we sold out of Jack Daniels. you're the third person to ask. please don't yell at me. there's a big game."

What? I have no words. They have a bottle of Johnnie walker blue on the shelf and no Jack Daniels. JOHNNIE WALKER BLUE. but no Jack. No Gentleman Jack. Nothing in the Jack line. not even a mini bottle.This is madness and I simply cannot comprehend. 

I consider leaving empty-handed. yet i know that alcohol is required to deal with the week's events. required. it's been a shit week. i'm not leaving this store, the only liquor store, without alcohol. 

"You could try Jameson" the clerk offers sheepishly. I hide my disgust. I sigh. i pick the closest bottle, defeated. (It's Old Parr btw, i do not recommend it).

I pay. i leave. 

back in car, Mark starts driving us home.

"Jesus, that took forever"- Mark

"they didn't have Jack"- Sarah

"what?"- Mark

"seriously. sold out. big game or something?"- Sarah

"sold out? well what's that then?"- Mark indicates the brown bag i'm clutching

"Old Parr" -Sarah

"What?"-Mark

"Old Parr. I don't know. i gave up, we needed whiskey, there was no alternative"-Sarah

"why did you buy it?"-Mark

"we needed it. i feel like a junkie, but we need drinks tonight and i didn't know what else to do"-Sarah

"you're an idiot"-Mark

"WHAT? i did this for us! would you rather i bought nothing?"-Sarah

"yes. why would you buy that?"-Mark

"you said we must have drinks! what was i supposed to do? why are you so impossible?" Sarah

"Why wouldn't you go to another store?"- Mark

"I swear, we're been six months here and you've learned nothing. there are no other stores! this was it, our only option and i did the best i could!"

Mark turns the car into a driveway- "No? what's this?"

we're sitting in front of the Bottle Shop. He then gestures across the road.
I can read the letters "Randol Mill Beverage" on the sign.
"Six months we've been here Sarah"

It would appear that there are several liquor stores by our house. (we're the purple dot)