Yesterday I added to the list of things I am afraid of. My newest addition?
It's a cajun "eater" serial killer. Isn't it obvious? Isn't that just the rage in things to be afraid of?
I watched an overly terrifying show yesterday, and now this previously unidentified fear has been vaulted directly to the top of the list of things that scare me. All of which is slightly impressive as I'm a bit of a horror movie buff. Not to mention it succinctly displaced the spider fear which had been enjoying the title of number one fear for about a week and a half.
And let me clarify that. It wasn't just a random fear of spiders. No no. I'm not that lame. It was a fear of monster Shelob-esque sized spiders who hang out in my laundry.
Not my laundry room, in my actual laundry, this thing crawled out from between two shirts!!
Even after it was smashed and shriveled it was still the size of a half dollar.
As a side note to any spiders reading this and getting ideas, it's carcass is sitting on a dryer sheet on my dining room table. I'm leaving it there as a warning, much like a head on a stake, to any other spiders who might dare to mess with me. So don't! I may be terrified of you, but not so terrified to let you live.
I've been told these fears are ridiculous. But in my mind, it's best to be completely informed so that, when you are confronted with these things, you've already figured out what your course of action is. Otherwise, when confronted with the thing that terrifies you, you freeze. And frankly, I don't see that helping you.
I'm still thinking on how I'd deal with the eater. However, the spider thing? Well, the exact fear was that it'd crawl in my mouth while I was sleeping. (I KNOW right? That's horrible. It's disgusting, and frankly, if you weren't afraid of that before, you should be. And you should figure out your plan of action. JUST IN CASE).
But that's sorted. I bite and spit. Almost simultaneously. Then brush my teeth for about an hour. And yeah, I practiced the exact motion. Because that is exactly the time I don't want to freeze up.
Other items near the top of the list?
Dropping my iPhone into the toilet. Again. However, rather than not ever take my phone into a bathroom, I place a death grip on it from the moment I enter until the moment I exit. But I still think it'll happen and worry for the entire duration. Even if it's tucked safely into my purse. (At which point, I'll worry it might fall out, and check on it). See? Once again, not the time to be caught unaware, or to freeze up. Every millisecond counts in submerged phone scenario.
Australia. Big fear here.
Don't get me wrong. I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to go to Australia. From the sounds of it, there's some seriously cool stuff there. But did you know that it's a seriously dangerous place? Not in the crime rate. Nor in the fact that it's so freaking big that you could literally get lost forever in the outback. Nope. It's dangerous in the fact that there are loads of lethal animals, spiders, insects, and seafaring creatures that call it home.
Random fact:70% of Australia is labeled desert, and yet, only 3% of the population dwells there.
Fact: many Australian websites claim that the HYPE regarding the dangerous conditions is ridiculous and a myth.
Let's think about this shall we?
3% of the population on 70% of the land? Australia isn't a small place by any comparison. However, just think how far and few between the people have got to be spread.
That means that Australia is like a cross between the The Shining (man goes crazy due to lack of interaction with actual people) and nearly every horror movie out there in which the cast of characters is cut off from the rest of the world. Now I'm not saying that I think going to Australia will lend itself to encountering an axing wielding maniac. However,it stands to reason that, if something bad DOES happen (say you encounter one of the approximately two million lethal creatures on the continent) that the situation is uniquely primed to go from not good to really terrible with lighting speed.
Conclusion of the moment?
-Go to Australia
So tell me- what are your fears. How do they compare to mine?
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