Tuesday, August 7, 2012

toilet paper embargo

i blog. i blog to report a strange and lengthy trade embargo in our house. on toilet paper. to be more exact, an embargo to any and all toilet paper that might possibly make it's way into the hall bathroom.

somehow, regardless of the fact that there actually IS toilet paper in the house, the hallway bathroom seems to be suffering from a trade embargo. I know i'm under strict orders not to replenish it. (and frankly, why should i considering I'm positive i stocked it last). the trouble is that Mark also believes himself to have last stocked this bathroom.

incidentally, this happens to be the closest bathroom to the living room. which translates to the closest to the Olympics. because let's face it- Mark and I are sitting here each night. we're watching the Olympics.

*now before you tell me we're clearly being childish- know that the LAST showdown  was only settled when i finally caved and stocked. so now i've got to stick to my guns. otherwise i'm stuck as hallway bathroom toilet stocker for life. those are the rules.

the point here is that the bathroom has been bereft of adequate supplies for two days now. both mark and i have openly ignored this fact and refused to rectify the situation. citing work "I can't, i have a conference call," inability "it's too hot to walk upstairs. i'll melt" to-my favorite- outright refusal "i would but it's your turn"
the "situation" has now manifested into open avoidance of this room because the user will ultimately find themselves "stuck"
stuck is not a good place to be. stuck means you are at the mercy of the other individual in the house. another individual who, as luck would have it, is watching something awesome on tv. who has no interest in leaving the couch for fear they'll "miss it" (because we're pretending this coverage is live)

i just found myself stuck. again. for a second time. (this is likely because i am incredibly forgetful in regards to temporary avoidance areas. it's a problem i recently discovered)
conversation followed as such-
sarah: oh no
mark: what?
sarah: i forgot
mark: well.....you're stuck
sarah: please?
mark: nope. otherwise how will you learn?
sarah: seriously? come on!
mark: can't. i'm watching this. she's getting gold
sarah: please?
mark: i'm going to leave you in there for an hour. let you reflect on the situation
sarah: what? that's not fair!
sarah: (frantic now) i'll use your gym towel. i swear! please?
mark: fine fine.
-at which point i'm saved when he comes in with the worlds tiniest role of toilet paper. which means i'll be tricked into thinking there's enough paper tomorrow. and there won't be

this won't end well.