can you buy me some Nair while you're out?

Sarah: I have to have this. It's awesome.
Mark: You ARE grocery shopping right?
Sarah: Yes, it's amazing.
Mark: Is Darth Vadar shopping for turnips?
Sarah: This is undoubtably cooler than that. Much cooler.
Mark: Fine. Tell me. What could possibly be cooler than Darth Vadar pondering produce?
Sarah: I'm not certain I follow the train of thought that makes that cool. But I can't tell you. I have to show you. Give me a second, I'll send a picture.

....moments pass as the intrawebs whirl and deliver the below photo to England....

Mark: What the?
Sarah: Isn't it awesome? Isn't it the epitome of cool? I must have this.
Mark: That's a funny turkey.
Sarah: It's a CAKE. A Turkey Cake!!! It's a Thanksgiving cake shaped to look like a...
Mark: OH MY GOD! A Turcake. We must own it. Can we have it for Thanksgiving? I will give thanks to it.
Sarah: It's brilliant. You can go into the store for turkey. Pick up a cake. Leave happy. Win win.
Mark: You're buying this right?
Sarah: Demetrius will kill me.
(*For those who don't know, Demetrius is one of my best friends, my personal trainer, AND at this point, dieting for the Olympia).
Mark: Maybe you could buy it for him. A present. He couldn't be angry then.
Sarah: Hmmm. It could work. A "happy almost Olympia" Turcake. Who wouldn't want one? He couldn't be upset.
Mark: Unless he's already upset.
Sarah: Shit. He IS already upset. Umm.... I can't buy this. I'm leaving. Turcake-less.

(Sarah leaves store)
Sarah: What the? Demetrius just sent a text reading, "Can you buy me some Nair while you're out"
Mark: What is Nair?
Sarah: I'm not certain telling you will help. It will just lead to more questions. Besides, I support the "no more waxing" stance so I can't complain.
Mark: You're not actually going back are you? If so get the Turcake.
Sarah: I am. But I can't get the Turcake. He will be angry. I already got chips. He's going to give me "the look."

(Sarah buys Nair and actually leaves)
Mark: I still think you should bring him the cake. It needs to be purchased. Look, if he's in a bad mood when you get there, I command you to return to the store.
Sarah: I can do this. He's already annoyed, so I'll ask him if he's angry. When he says yes, I head back, I buy the Turcake, I bring it to him. He's happy. It's brilliant. Nothing can go wrong.
Mark: Yes. This is brilliant. The Turcake will be ours. His. But in our house. So technically ours.

(Sarah enters house)
Sarah: D. You in a bad mood?
Demetrius: I'm doing alright.
Mark: (on phone) WHAT? You said he was pissed!
Sarah: (to Mark) HE WAS! I swear.
Mark: You deceived me to not buy the Turcake. You are anti Turcake. Why do you hate the Turcake?
Sarah: D, I thought you were upset.
Demetrius: Nope, I'm over it. Not worth it.
Sarah: This isn't what I wanted. Now I have no Turcake prospect.
Demetrius: Did you get the Nair?
Mark: I can't believe you lied to me.
Sarah: I can't speak to you right now.

NEXT MORNING
I am standing in the shower. Holding a half empty bottle of Nair in my hand. I am instinctively filled with the desire to use this Nair. To burn (or melt, I'm not sure exactly how that stuff works) all the hairs off my body. I open the bottle and the shower is filled with a foul eye watering smell. Which leads me to the conclusion, clearly, I should have just gotten the Turcake.